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We are two working mothers — Lauren Rose, the director of business development for Name Bubbles, and Betsy DeMars, the assistant managing editor at The Saratogian. Try as we may to be really good at both, balancing motherhood and career can get pretty messy. As professionals, work schedules and mommy schedules often collide. So, we plow through, hoping at the end of the day, our kids — Lauren's 5-year-old son and Betsy's 11-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter — know how much we love them.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Declaring my independence from "Super Mom Envy"

After a fun morning with friends swimming in the pool, my son is finally napping. This is the time of day on weekends when I actually have some time to myself. Sometimes, for the record, I just nap with him. Like yesterday.

My girlfriend who spent the morning here with her kids, brought with her my birthday gift. My birthday was in March and I was pretty sure I remembered her giving me a Starbucks gift card. "This is your present I got you for LAST year's birthday", she said. We both shared a belly laugh that nearly made me spit out the iced mocha she also brought along for me. She and I have shared the ups and downs of being a working mom since our boys were three months old, and consider each other as necessary as breathing and caffeine. In other words, we couldn't (or wouldn't) navigate motherhood without the other.

What did she bring me? Two books and a ringed note card pack to help me organize blog notes from the convenience of my purse (or that bag I put everything in). The book I decided to dig into during nap time is a topic that she an I discuss, well, daily. It's called "You're A Good Mom (and your kids are not so bad either): 14 Secrets to Finding Happiness Between Super Mom and Slacker Mom". I'm three chapters in and I have laughed out loud a dozen times already. The author Jen Singer's advice resonates with me so far. I'm not a super mom and (thankfully) not a slacker mom either, but I do so envy those moms who seem to be able to do it all with grace and poise and to be honest, skills. Skills I don't have like craftiness and flash-card diligence and the ability to iron. Her take is that Super Mom is most likely all propaganda anyway. It's not all shiny and bright in her world and just maybe she might envy you! Even as early as page 7 she recommends ways to "overcome Super Mom envy".

As much as I try and worry and stress out, I'm never going to be her anyway. Plus, I happen to like my group of (average? regular? awesome!) mom friends that feel so real to me that I can float in their support on days that I feel I don't have it all together. I'd like to think I do that for them, too. I'm not sure what label you give us "moms in the middle", but that's frequently where you'll find us hovering.

So today, on the day our country declared it's independence, I'm declaring mine from "Super Mom Envy". Hey, would super mom be relaxing on the deck reading a book, listening to her iPod, blogging and drinking a Gin & Tonic? I think not. Happy 4th!

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